My name is nadi, and I am a sex addict.

Master currently has me keeping a diary of masturbation: a daily record of times, techniques, and accompanying fantasies. I am learning things from it - I have never before been so aware of the way my sexual mind works. Themes and patterns are emerging. One thing I've noticed is the cycle I go through after (real) sex. The following day I'm content and play a lot, remembering what I've just done, or had done to me. Then usually follows a period of satisfaction, where I don't need it. But soon I start to warm up again. By day four I'm touching myself compulsively. Day five I'm getting antsy. On day seven I'm truly climbing the walls. Luckily, for everyone's safety, I rarely have to wait any longer than that. I know from past experience that after that point, my psychotic evil twin starts to show, as I take my frustration out on myself and the world.

I used to be much, much worse. There was a time when I counted and calculated my average weekly number of fucks (as in, separate events, regardless of how many people were involved) to be 9. And I was single.

I was quite out of control. Now, I have someone who can control me.

Years ago, I was a smoker. I quit several times, but could never really find it in me to care much about my own health, and I was back at it soon enough. Eventually, someone I loved very much told me how much they cared. And then I could stop - not for myself, but for someone else. I haven't had a cigarette since. Now I couldn't completely give up sex for anything, but I have given up a lot of it. And once again, not for myself, but for someone else. This raises the question in my mind of what will happen if/when I am no longer his... but I'm not going there tonight....

Master has given me his control. I don't want to sound like one of those subby suck-ups I read online and roll my eyes (thats just given me an idea for another post), but.... I feel genuinely grateful for every limit he imposes on me. Thats the strange truth.