Thicker than blood

I met Sista online a long time ago now, when Master was still new in my life. I was instantly impressed by her wit, intelligence and sheer cheekiness. Not long after, I was lucky enough to meet her in person, along with her Max, when they travelled to my side of the country together. I was impressed again - she had a stunning presence, with wide round eyes that sparkled with so much life I wanted to sit with her for hours and share her dreams and fears. She was not a traditional 'looker', but at first sight I found her genuinely beautiful. My admiration for her only grew when I had the pleasure of playing with the two of them, watching her let go of her apparent strength and become a "little girl", her stoic acceptance of pain that I longed to live up to, and her intense involvement in the moment that took her from joy to tears.

After the visit, our friendship quickly deepened as we talked more with each other. We connected as two subs with enormous respect for one another, and each saw qualities in the other that we wanted to learn to develop in ourselves. We shared her evolution into 'sluthood' and my journey of surrender. We supported each other through our own painful love stories, confided our fears, and problem-solved each others dilemmas. It was Master who first referred to her as my "sister", but I felt the need to modify it to Sista - because she knows me better than my biological siblings ever will.

I was touched and delighted when Master took an interest in getting to know her and offer her guidance of his own. He chooses his friends carefully, and it meant the world to me that someone I cared so much about was subject to his time and effort. I rarely knew what they were talking about, but from each of them I got a sense that it was meaningful, sometimes challenging, sometimes warm and respectful. I felt the contentment one can only get when two people of great signifiance in your life meet and like one another.

Now here is a little truth that will most likely surprise both of them. I didn't exactly know that Master and Sista were planning a secret visit, but I had an inkling. The idea occurred to me somewhere along the way, I don't know how or why, but it was there in my mind and I imagined how amazing it would be if it were true. I love surprises, but I'm an intuitive girl, and when it comes to the really big gestures, stuff that takes planning, at the most I'm only ever about 60% surprised. I don't know why. I try not to know whats going on. But it just happens.

Anyway, it was still a big jolt when Master told me, not only were they planning a surprise visit, but that Sista had cancelled. Firstly, amazement that they really were doing that for me. I felt overjoyed, and so cared about! What a blessing to have two people that mean so much to me come together to do something that would make me so happy! And then the disappointment. I imagined how overwhelming it would have been, to arrive at Master's house and see the beautiful face of my Sista looking back at me, smiling - and now it wouldn't happen. She's not coming. I've thought so much so often about how wonderful it would be to give her a real hug and laugh with her - and now I've lost an opportunity.

And then there was Master's response to it. After a series of recent disappointments from people, he was in no mood to tolerate Sista's turnaround. They are still not talking.

I feel a loss. Loss of the chance to see my friend, loss of the fun we would no doubt have had, loss of such a beautiful gesture from people I love, and loss of the happiness I felt when the two of them were getting along on their own terms. I miss her all the more knowing she would have been here. And without disrespect for him, I don't feel Master's anger. I know little about Sista's reasons for not coming and I don't really want to know. Evidently they were reason enough for her, and I'd rather just accept that than dwell on that part of it.

The beauty of having a sub Sista is invaluable. Nowhere else can I express my worries freely without criticism for loving and wanting to please my Master. No other girl friend can show the support that she can through the simple understanding that we will never, ever disrespect one another by being critical of the other's Owner. No one else can act as a neutral sounding board for the issues we face when its just too confusing to go to Master straight away. And there is nothing more comforting in this world where our relationships are so deviant, and hard to find in genuine form, as knowing we are not alone.

They say the road to a friend's house is never long. I still hope I see you someday soon, gorgeous x.