Take me away

Few things make me feel as powerless as someone taking control over my breath. And Master really does take control of it. In the past, a handful of people have clamped a hand over my mouth and nose or around my neck for a few seconds of breathlessness while we fucked, and that was a great high. But Master has taught me to go much further than that. I don't really know how long he typically does it for - the senses become warped and seconds stretch themselves out and gel into each other when you are lacking in oxygen. Not long enough for me to pass out... yet. But I'm sure I've come close. Close enough, sometimes, to leave me temporarily immobolised, my arms just flapping loosely if I try to move at all.

My social conscience feels the need to interrupt here and say something about safety. But that would be totally hypocritical. I don't ask Master to play it safe. I expect him to do what he wants with me. He is experienced enough to read my body signs and choose when to stop, and I trust that no matter how far he takes me toward the edge, it is completely intentional and he is fully aware. Yes, I know there are risks. I know there could be permanent damge. I know I could die. And I want him to do it anyway. If anyone finds that offensive, they are reading the wrong blog. Lol.

I used to fear unconsciousness. Each time he placed his hand over my mouth and nose would be the beginning of one scary ride, mentally crossing back and forth from submission to panic, trying desperately to control my impulse to fight him. Not that I could have anyway. His body pins me down so there is nowhere to go, and he is more than capable of holding my head in place. Mmmm, that cosy helplessness.... : )

At some point I stopped being afraid of losing consciousness. Now I just try and keep moving my hips against him for as long as I can, trying to control the relflex to gasp and choke for air, and let myself float away..... the whole world seems to dissolve and nothing exists except Master and I, my awareness cuts down to the sensation of his cock inside me, and his weight above me. Eventually not even I exist, he is the whole world, and if I am facing him, even he is fading as my eyes roll back and my mind stops registering his skin against me. Sometimes I think to myself, will it happen this time? Will I black out? And will I wake up? It's now less a fear than a curiosity.

When I panicked, he used to say to me "Don't worry, baby, you'll just go to sleep for a while... and when you wake up, I'll still be fucking you." Its still a nice thought, and sometimes I fantasise about it alone, wondering if he really would keep going as I gradually came back to the present, and how it would feel to slowly wake up being used, as just a body, the presence of a mind inside it completely optional.

I wonder if its possible to orgasm while unconscious? : )