Strength

I had a job interview today, and just prior, everything that could go wrong went absolutely wrong. I reached the interview location with 10 minutes to spare, but with my stress levels at a maximum. I wasn't ready for this. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I knew I had to think positive, confident thoughts, and fast. What came instinctively to mind was a memory - Master's voice, after crossing a boundary with me, taking me past an unwanted limit: "Look what you just did. If you can do that, you can do anything, babe." It came to me so clear and real for a second I was convinced I could smell him. I can't even remember now what it was he said that in reference to, but I remember him saying it like he is still there lying on me, holding my gaze and repeating "You can do anything."

At the time I didn't think it sunk in the way it should have - a part of my mind resisted the words and I struggled to accept them. But today they came to the front of my mind like a natural certainty, and I believed it. If I can give myself to him, relinquishing my body, pledging him my mind, promising him my heart and all my love, freely offering the ability to harm me, literally, happily putting my life in his hands... then what else in life is there to be afraid of?

Some things I think I understand, then one day they really do fall into place, and I realise that all that time I thought I knew, I really had no idea at all. I thought I knew that submission gives me strength. But today, for the first time, I know that belonging to Master... GIVES ME STRENGTH.